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Joey McIntyre is why I have an anxiety disorder.
Saturday morning I got home from work and did my daily check to see when NKOTB/BSB American Express pre-sale tickets were going to be on sale on ticketmaster.com. To my surprise they went on sale THAT DAY! Luckily I was a few hours early so I had time to prepare, so I thought.
I have getting concerts tickets down to a science. It’s a big deal. I turn off the television, turn off any music, turn the lights on. I make sure I’m comfortable. I make sure all of my credit card information is up to date. I lock my dogs and cats out of the room. About 3 minutes before the “on sale” time I start doing my refreshing.
10:57AM hits and I start. I refresh for what seems like an hour, but of course is only 3 minutes. My heart is beating, and I’m just getting more and more nervous. I am thinking “What if I don’t get them? Will I be able to get them during public sale? What if I don’t then? Will I be able to afford them off Ebay?”
Finally 11:00 and a refresh that starts a new page, the beautiful ticket selection page. I, of course want the best seats, so I pick 3 tickets for the most expensive price. I the get to the page where you must type in the “code” that is barely legible. This is where I make the most mistakes because it is truly hard to read those words! I get nervous and hit backspace a few times. Okay good, I got the code correct. On to the line.
It puts me in “line” with warnings not to go back or refresh so I don’t lose my place. It says “Estimated wait time: 6 minutes.” SIX MINUTES?!?! I have to sit here tortured for that long?!? It then goes down to about 3, then back up to 5, then randomly down again to 1, then less than 1, then 2, then less than 1. I start counting the seconds by. “One one thousand, two one thousand.” I went over a minute. During this time I’m getting even more nervous and my heart beats even faster.
Finally, it goes to another page. FAIL. No matches found. CRAP! So I go back and try for “Best available” seats. I wait about 3 more minutes. The new page is different this time, but only to be let down by level 3 seats in the back. No way! I’d rather not go. I am let down because I will now have to compete with everyone who doesn’t have an American Express.
I text Heather telling her of my failure. Dustin comes in and asks if I got them, and I sit there pouting.
Something inside me made me try just ONE MORE TIME. Maybe someone got to the end and didn’t have an American Express, or decided not to go.
I try again. I wait a couple of minutes. The screen comes up with 3 seats. Section 120. Well at least 120 is on the lower level, but where exactly is it? I start searching the map of the arena. OH. MY. GOSH. Section 120 is right next to the stage! There isn’t a section closer to the stage on the first level! I get a sudden new nervousness and hurry to complete my sale. I will NOT be happy until I see the receipt screen.
Ahhh there it is. The pretty receipt screen. I try to text Heather again but my hands are shaking too much so I just call her instead. “I GOT TICKETS! GREAT TICKETS!” I then call my mom. “MOM! YOU’RE GOING WITH US TO SEE NKOTB ON YOUR BIRTHDAY!” I can’t calm down! I’m so excited! I was so scared! I went from being extremely let down to extremely pleased!
I am now having an anxiety attack! Why? All because I want to see my long time love, Joey McIntyre. If you’re out there Joey, I HOPE YOU APPRECIATE THIS!
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Snakes and eating
Last night during lunch at work I was talking to my coworker. We were telling gross stories such as when I vomited all over the inside of my dad’s brand new truck after eating too much during a family reunion (he wasn’t too pleased, but wasn’t mad either since I couldn’t help it). She was talking about how she vomited all over her husband’s car when she was struck with morning sickness while pregnant. The whole time we are eating our lunches. It doesn’t bother us.
For those of you who don’t know, I work in a lab in a hospital. Yes, I play with blood, pee, poop, sputum, vaginal swabs, vomit, swabs with pus, and probably other gross things I can’t think of. So when it comes to eating, usually nothing bothers me. I have always been like that. I could watch brain surgery and eat spaghetti at the same time.
So why is it if I see a snake on TV while eating I can’t eat? I will get sick to my stomach. What about snakes makes me sick? Just even thinking about snakes while eating makes me queasy. I once saw a picture of a Walmart in another country where they sold skinned snakes as food. I almost had to run to the bathroom to throw up. I couldn’t click the close button on my browser fast enough.
It’s a good thing I’ve never really wanted a pet snake. Maybe I should get one. Now that my anxiety attacks are gone and as a result my body is able to take in food and I have gained a ton of weight, maybe a snake would help me lose it. I could get a VHS (because our break room only has a VCR) of snakes and not be able to eat at work. I could carry around a picture of a snake and take it out when I’m out to dinner. Some people use pictures of girls in bikinis on their fridge to help lose weight. I just need a picture of a snake!
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This is old, but it cracks me up!
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Camp Rock 2
I am rocking out to the Camp Rock 2 soundtrack, because I am 12 years old and not 30.
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Jason Segal perversion
I am not sure why, but I decided while talking to one of my best friend’s I would make everything he says into something dirty about Jason Segal. I’m not normally such a pervert (okay so I can be), but I was really tired when most of this took place.
Tony: what are you doing
Lisa: watching I Love You man
Tony: slappin da bassssssssss
Lisa: I want Jason Segal
Tony: you want to shut your mouth right now
Lisa: I want to shut my mouth on Jason Segal’s cock right now
Tony: why would you subject that poor man to that kind of torture
Lisa: I want to slap his bass
Tony: I want to slap yo mommas bass
Tony: you have such a filthy hooker mouth tonight
Lisa: because Jason Segal turns me into a filthy slut
Tony: you were already a filthy slut
Lisa: oh
Lisa: it makes me a clean slut
Tony: I want to play with one of those new samsung android phones
Tony: they are supposed to be hot shit
Lisa: I do too
Lisa: not as much as I want to play with Jason Segal’s andriod
Tony: i had a physical wednesday and the doctor touched my android. i was gay for 3 seconds.
Tony: not fun
Lisa: I want to give Jason Segal a physical
Tony: cut it out
Tony: print a picture of him and take it to bed with you and get it out of your system
Lisa: it wouldn’t ever be the same as the real Jason Segal, besides my printer is broken
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My sweet dog Savannah was so cuddly yesterday! Normally she doesn’t cuddle up to me. She’s more of a daddy’s girl. I was surprised she stayed still when I turned the light on and took the picture with my phone. (Thank God for my remote controlled light/fan combo)
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A rare moment in history… my mom and I drinking a beer together!
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15 Inception Inspired Memes
Sarah will like this.
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Dear Bonnie,
Why do you try to start fights with me every morning I’m in chemistry? I do not appreciate you throwing little rubbing pieces at me while I’m trying to change your diaphragm. If you weren’t such a slut your diaphragm wouldn’t need to be changed so often anyway! I won our fight again this morning. Just get through your head, you will get your diaphragm changed, you will make cuvettes, and you will make GOOD cuvettes.
Oh and will you please stop making Clyde all hot and bothered? He at least does his work but it is still annoying.
Eff you,
-Lisa
BTW, Bonnie and Clyde are machines in the chemistry area in our lab.
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Savannah loves to lay on her back.